Sunday, April 3, 2011

Perspective...I generally don't have it

I am always amazed at the speed at which life can take a turn. I feel like I spend a lot of time feeling comfortable with how things are and anticipating how they will be...like somehow I have a say in the giant scheme of things :-) I mean, I know that I have a say, and yet it is so humbling when we get instant reminders of how mortal we truly are.

My sister was in an accident a while ago. And I hope that she doesn't mind me sharing some about that. It is so egocentric to make that horrible event about me, but in reality it is about all of us...and our relationships and our perspective. One minute I was retreiving my kids from their dad and sitting at the table hearing about their day and their weekend...and honestly totally self-absorbed in a new situation of my own. Next thing I knew, I was taking my kids back to their dad and was riding down to Tucson not fully knowing the situation or the outcome. It was an amazingly humbling experience what unfolded. The end of the story, just so you know, is she's ultimately ok. It's been a process. It hasn't been easy. I know I will never be the same.

I arrived at the hospital before my parents as they were coming from New Mexico. For that I am actually very grateful. My sister and I had some very intimate moments...maybe more for me than for her. I felt love for her that I suppose I always knew I had but the intensity of it was incredible. I got to stay with her that night and went with her in the pre-op area before her surgery the next morning. She asked me to come "un-bunch" her after the surgery and get her all settled before I had to get back to Phoenix. The following weeks are almost indescribable for me. I saw my sister as one of the absolute strongest people I know. I think that I spent a good deal of time dwelling on the bad part of the outcome and here my sister was, unable to walk for months, telling me how lucky she feels she is. She saw every possible positive part of this situation and could, even the very night of the accident, understand how much worse it could have been. I was in awe.

So, the moral of the story is....I continue to learn and to be hit with the proverbial 2x4 about life and why I have to live it. Or why I GET to live it. I understand how mortal we are and from that I intend to do my darndest from here on out to realize my life for the sunny side up miracle that it is. What, really, do I have to complain about??? I no longer want to take my days for granted nor the people that I am so blessed to have in my life. I am so sad that my sister had to go through what she did...but I am so grateful for what I learned from it. I'm grateful for the love I have for her and how inspiring she is to me.

She's my hero...Love you Krista.