Ode to a boob job...

So, how does this book apply to title and picture below? Bear with me...I will get you there! So here's the deal...for those of you who don't know, I had my boobs "enhanced". For those of you who do know, just a reminder to get you where I'm going with this. And to those of you who have issues with it, get over it :-) They are sooo just part of the journey!

Over a year ago, I opted to have a little "repair"...boobs and tummy. I have to say, it was quite a difficult decision for many reasons. The primary reason was that I was honestly concerned with what that choice would say about me and where my priorities are and that it would label me as excessively vain. I was worried about what people would think and that, somehow, that decision of MINE would bother or be disagreeable to my friends and/or acquaintances. It turns out, I had a myriad of responses! I will say, the majority of women that I know either already had made the leap themselves or are hoping to one day and were merely curious about recovery, size, etc. Then there were the few that had issues...that thought/think I was being vain and the ONLY reason anyone would ever choose to make this decision would be to flaunt them at the gym in a tank top! The truth of the matter is, they aren't really about that, but yet they were the beginning of me finding me again...about me finding myself in the midst of a crazy life.

So, I'm a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a cousin, a clothes-washer, floor-mopper, food-maker, kitchen-cleaner, toilet-scrubber, carpool-driver, furniture-duster, discipline-giver, etc. I have so many things and actions that seem to define my life, but I discovered that none of them define ME...they define what I do for everyone else. Now, not to knock any of my life! I love my life! I chose it and I wouldn't choose to change it and I am fully aware that the above titles come with this territory! The difference is, I knew that I was losing ME in the middle of it all and I, honestly, hadn't realized it before now. So I got the surgery...and I tried to hide it...and I tried to justify it...and I was embarrassed by it for a while. But here's the thing, by my choosing to do that for ME, I made a huge step towards finding ME! I learned that what everyone else thinks doesn't matter. And I learned that repairing what carrying, birthing, nursing, and tending to 5 children did to my body was not vain, but essentially therapeutic! There is something to be said about lying down and not having your stomach lying next to you! I felt great and slowly gained confidence in myself that I think sometimes fades when spending so much time tending to daily life.

Jump ahead a bit...I decided to go back to school. Hence the book picture! I have been accepted into nursing school and am on the waiting list to begin. In the meantime, I am taking Microbiology to apply for a nursing scholarship in December. WOW! This class has been sooooo good for me! Using my mind and gaining knowledge and being with people with similar interests and goals and people who can carry on an adult conversation has been awesome! I cannot even begin to explain how much I have enjoyed this class! I had forgotten how much I enjoy learning and it is so different now compared to when I was 18 in that this is solely MY choice! I am finding ME! I am doing something for ME! And you know what? My family has had to sacrifice to make this possible and I love everyone of them for that. It has definitely been an adjustment, but in the long run it benefits every member of my family.

So, that's the leap. I got boobs and now I am learning and am finding things that are for ME and good for ME. I am strong and able...I am productive and smart...I am still a good mom and wife...and it's okay if they have to dig underwear for themselves out of the pile on the dryer--at least they are clean! And, despite it all, it IS fantastic to wear a tank top at the gym!