Monday, June 14, 2010

Glass half full...

So...I have a tendency lately to be a "glass-half-empty" kind of gal. Not entirely proud of that and when I TRULY reflect on my situation, I realize I have really NOTHING to complain about. I am one of the most blessed people I know and feel a need to publicly record it...read it or don't...this is for me :-)

In no particular order...I am no longer being abused nor are my kids witnessing it and seeing that continuous example, I can clean my house or not and, either way, I don't get yelled at or put down and insulted as a result, I have one less person to do laundry for, I have five AMAZING kids who love me and whom I love more than life itself, we are surviving and generally laugh thru it and no longer stress when "someone" is coming home, we are all generally healthy, the kids did well in school, I have great friends that helped get my kids to and from school and watch them when my favorite ex won't...

I got a full scholarship to school and a guaranteed 3 year position when I graduate, I have a carpool so it's less gas and mileage on my car, I have fabulous parents that have stood by me through my entire divorce ridiculousness and basically secured a house for the kids and I to live in affordably, we live in a nice neighborhood and kids have lots of friends nearby, their friends have pools and let them swim in them, I have been able to financially provide all the food the kids want or need and they are always clothed, I have a Ben that is kind to me and supports me and puts up with a WHOLE LOT from me and yet still stays, I have sweet dogs that always are glad to see me and cuddle with me when I'm home alone, I have a bed to sleep in and so do all the kids...

And to culminate everything, my car had some "issues" yesterday. The issues ended in 4 families willingly contributing, my car being towed by one to another's shop, and the keys to a Suburban owned by another handed to me so I have something to drive until my car is fixed. I am so completely, undeniably, and immensely grateful for my blessings. I'm grateful for the friends and people I have met and surrounded myself with, and so grateful for their compassion. What possibly could I complain about after reading the incredible list above? I mean, you will all still probably hear about Jackass and his future abuse recipient being stupidly demonstrative at a dodgeball tournament :-) (and who wears pony tails at 41 except for Suzanne Somers???? I'm just sayin...) but all in all...I live a good life....warrior style!

Friday, June 11, 2010

Graduations, Promotions, or whatever...

Either way, they are moving up and moving on. Garrett had his 8th grade graduation on Wednesday night...I have a high school-er! How on earth did that happen? It truly seems like just yesterday he was tied up in tubes and wires in the NICU and now he's in high school. I expected to be emotional, and yet I wasn't so much. It's time, he's ready, and it's part of life. I was way more emotional at the freshman orientation at the high school...so many memories! He has become such an amazing kid. He and I have had some of the most wonderful conversations this past week...conversations that I always hoped my kids would be willing to have with me and at the same time I've been terrified my kids would want to have with me! He is very insightful and is very open and open-minded while being grounded and makes good decisions. I am so incredibly blessed to be his mom. Congratulations Garrett :-)

Then on Thursday morning Wade had his kindergarten promotion. The school does such a cute job and it's always a wonderful little ceremony. Wade was ecstatic to sing his songs and just beams that little "Wade" smile every time he caught my eye. I never intended for him to start kindergarten when he did. I had always expected to wait until he was a year older especially since he misses the birthday cut-off. But, as we all know, life brings unexpected events and off to kinder he went. I am so proud of how well he did, how easily he figured things out, how well he made new friends, and how wonderfully he did regardless of the chaos that surrounds us. Again, seems like yesterday that I was literally shocked speechless and into tears, but darn I love that kid!

I can't negate the three in the middle. Everyone did fabulously...true warrior fashion! We made it through this year and we are armed and ready for the next. I will say, regardless of the horrors I lived through, I am so grateful that I lived them and had them for the sole fact that I have these 5 blessings to call me "mom". I simply have nothing else to say...I love you guys :-)

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Which way?

Totally pointless post...but just what I'm thinking about at the moment.

Top to bottom? Bottom to top? Left to right? Or right to left? Take it in pieces or try the whole thing at once?

I'm cutting vinyl today. Taking off the masks, picking out the little tiny parts of the inside of the "A's" and every set of these I'm doing I try a different way trying to find the BEST way. I decided there isn't one. Where as one way is easier for those crazy "h's", another way always keeps the dots over the "i's". No matter which way I choose, there are pros and cons, pluses and minuses, ups and downs.

Kinda like life. There are clearly MANY different ways to live it. Every way has its perks as well as setbacks. I guess when it comes down to it, what matters is that all your letters stay where they are supposed to be so the final project looks just as it should. As long as our "life quote" ends up on the wall with all the dots over the "i's" and the "h's" intact, I guess the difficulties in taking off the mask was worth it.

Profound...I know :-) Go ahead...think amongst yourself