Common ground...

I've been playing with this topic in my head for several months now...and it's another one of those topics that I was "scared" to post, and yet my words are mine and unpunishable. I am a little sad that my vehemence regarding this has waned in my procrastination, but it's probably for the best :-)

So, we have all these sayings or beliefs...karma, what goes around comes around, the punishment fits the crime, one day they will get what's coming to them, etc. and all of these are loosely based on both faith and forgiveness. The source of these beliefs are spiritual and non-spiritual, religious and non-religious, come from different parts of the country and ultimately fill our entire world in some form or another. The underlying message is largely felt by a large part of the human race and expressed in a variety of ways and means.

But what does it all mean? And is any of it valid at all, or merely something we say to make us feel better? And it's not all for "bad"...the same sayings are used to support the good that men do. That not only are bad deeds going to be punished...one day! But also the good will be rewarded...one day! Is it true? Do we just have to be patient and ultimately everything will be made "right"? And what's the point of continually believing in such when the fruits of that faith aren't always seen?

Random ramblings from a broken women, I know. For the record, I've seen amazing blessings come to those who truly deserved them and "earned" them and I have seen punishments received for those who committed the "crime". So why not now? How long must I wait? And here's my ultimate question about karma...if I gloat about a person getting what they had coming to them, do I then inherit bad karma from the sheer recognition (and subsequent enjoyment) of other's karmic consequences? Sigh...just the thought of it all is exhausting!

The bottom line is I do have faith...and I do believe that there are certain things that one cannot indefinitely charm himself out of...that there will be a consequence to HIM and not just to my left thigh, my neck, my jaw, my cell phone, the walls that were left with holes in them and the pictures shattered on the ground, and basically my soul. So I wonder, what did I do to deserve it? What was my karmic input that resulted in that outcome? And what will his be? There WILL have to be an outcome, right? I have to believe that there will be. And with that, I will just say....

what goes around, comes around, right?

Sabino Canyon...aka "The place I spent my senior year..."

I love this place. It holds so many memories for me and everytime I'm there I am in awe of the beauty of the desert. Now, don't get me wrong. I am definitely escaping the desert heat for a few days this summer to sit on a beach and I already went north to get out of the inevitable heat we are about to face. But I love this place. I remember going with my mom on the weekends when we would ride the tram to the top and walk the entire way down, frequently ending up in the parking lot with wet socks and shoes from that last bridge at the bottom that seems to always have water running over it. It became a bit of strategy to try to figure out how to get to the other side with dry shoes!

And I'm not joking about it's where I spent my senior year...and a good portion of my junior year as well. On long days, especially Wednesdays, when the weather was nice and the sun was warming up and when there was no way you were going to find me in an hour and a half long class of computers with Mr. Story, I would chose to simply spend that time at Sabino Canyon. It seemed like a good idea at the time. We simply wore our suits (with cover-up or t-shirt and shorts) to 1st period and then leave after and come back in time for 5th period. Great plan, really. The monitors frequently waved to us as we drove away...the perks of being a straight A student a LONG, LONG time ago :-) I even have the ditch notices sent to my parents scrapbooked! "Dear Mr./Mrs. Markle, Your son/daughter has missed 'blank' number of classes in the last quarter. We are concerned that your son/daughter may be at risk for failing in her class." LOL! Of course this is also back in the days when phones had cords attached to the walls, there were no automated systems to call parents to report absenses, the schools had no fences to keep kids in or bad people out, and my parents worked so I always got the mail first.

We often stopped and got Eegee's on the way to eat while we were there and had found a back trail where we didn't even have to go by the main entrance to get where we were going. Our spot always had water and fantastic rocks on which to lay our towels and eventually ourselves with the bikinis we hid from our mothers. We all became rather good at traversing the sparsely situated rocks to again, prevent wet shoes and socks as we always had to get to the OTHER side of the water...it's always better on the other side, right? The people changed, not always the same group went, but it was always a nice retreat. Quiet, serene, and beautiful.

So, I wanted to take my kids. It's part of my story and I love sharing those bits with them (another bit we shared is we took them to New York Pizza after...remember when a slice and a soda was only $1.25? Now it's $3.00!!!) I didn't get many pictures, but the memory will stay with us. We took the tram to the top as I always did with my mom, and began the walk down. We stopped at a "beach" on the way and let the kids skip rocks and explore and get wet and try to traverse the algae-ridden rocks. They were definitely not as good as I once was and all of them ended up soaking wet. I believe the guide on the way in said the water that day was around 55 degrees. They were cold :-) We didn't walk the WHOLE way down...amongst the 7 kids there arose some dissension about that original plan and the darn kids were hungry (for some reason they think they need to eat every day...like 3 times even!!!) so we caught the tram for the remainder and thus avoided the overflowing bridge at the bottom. (Another disclaimer...very possible that many of our pictures and experiences will include my Ben. What can I say? He's a good, good man...and we heart him!) Even without wet shoes in the parking lot, it was a fabulous outing. So glad we went.

The beginning of the bucket list accomplishments...

I may have to reflect on the remainder of my bucket list goals after this one...and yet at the same time, I may just leave it the way it is. Afterall, we made memories and I DID it, so in the long run I have no complaints :-)

I took the boys camping. Talked to them about it several weeks ago and they never let me forget it! And I wanted to say I did it myself. The week came that we had planned on...my birthday weekend to boot! I bought the trashy food, dug out sleeping bags and coolers, and set to packing it in (and on!!!) the car. Every inch was stuffed and I had loads of stuff strapped to the roof.

The 5 kids, 3 dogs and I headed north only to watch the thermostat quickly lower the farther north I drove. We were sitting about 44 degrees as we found our campsite and were setting up tents. As the flurries of snow started, I was doing my best to maintain composure and the warrior status I know I possess deep, deep down! Every kid pitched in...Garrett set up tents, Cole started the fire, Ethan and Wade were eagerly finding sticks to fuel the fire and Blake was jumping from job to job. By 8:15, we were all in the tent (which, despite the fact that 4 tents were set up, my small 4-man tent ended up with 4 kids, 2 dogs and myself) telling stories and giggling until we fell asleep.

The next day was great! We played jai alai and frisbee, ate terrible food, and were excited when my Ben and his kids arrived. S'mores, brownies, fruit snack, hot dogs, oh my! Then the next morning came...and so did the SNOW!!!

Who woulda thunk it??? May 2nd...and SNOW! Not just a flake or two, but full-on, constant-falling, making everything white and miserably cold, SNOW! We loaded up, I got increasingly grumpy and angry, all our fingers were frozen and the chihuahua looked pretty much like he wanted to die. When we were all finally loaded and ready to run for the warmth of the valley, my wonderful car wouldn't start. Fortunately, I have good friends and had someone to call who could tell me how to fix it in the middle of the forest. A quick trip to a gas station by my Ben, a little maneuver on the car, and we were off.

Long story short...we did it! And despite my raging, irrational behavior while packing in the wretched snow, the kids loved it...and are asking to go again. It was just us, in the woods, in the quiet, working together to "survive", and enjoying each other and accomplishing something. Granted, that "something" was merely 2 nights camping, but yet we did it...just us...together.

So, item one on the bucket list down...many, many to go! Next? Learning how to back up a trailer and taking the kids to California. Who knows? Maybe I will blog about it....

New address!

I've changed blog addresses...please find us here:

www.thewarriorcrew.blogspot.com

Hope to see you there!

The post I've been wanting to post, but was too chicken to...

Just a few things for us all to think about that I happened across and found incredibly interesting. Just some of those things that make you go "hmmmm."

• Domestic violence is 2 to 4 times more common in police families than in the general population. In two separate studies, 40% of police officers self-report that they have used violence against their domestic partners within the last year. In the general population, it's estimated that domestice violence occurs in about 10% of families.
• The definition of domestic violence is "a pattern of behaviors used to gain or maintain control of an intimate partner or family member."
• Abusive police officers use professional tactics of power and control in their intimate relationships. Not all abuse is physical violence. Lying, isolation, interrogation, surveillance and weapons are also used.
• There are special problems in these situations: police officers always have a gun; they know how to inflict pain and leave no marks or bruises; they are trained to intimidate by presense and use body as a weapon; it's hard to call the police when he is the police; he threatens that if he's reported to the police he will lose his job and there will be consequences to that; he has access to surveillance tools to monitor the victim's activities; he knows the location of battered women's shelters; and he knows the court system, often testifies in court, and knows district attorneys, judges and bailiffs personally.

Interesting, right? Just some tidbits I found. Here's a couple websites if you are interested in reading more...fascinating! And furthermore, maybe gives everyone a little insight as to the true situation...good times!

www.purpleberets.org/violence_police_families.html
www.abuseofpower.info/index.htm

New place...most likely same flakiness!

Ok, so I decided that I just couldn't continue posting on the old blog location...for obvious reasons I suppose. And let's be honest, the 2 times a year I post SHOULD be enjoyable for us all, right? So I am going to start this blog with the last entry of my other blog...which is my Christmas letter than never got sent...sigh! I meant to. I really did!!! It just didn't exactly happen. So, what better way to start my new blog with the letter that summed up the last year and showed the obvious renewal for the years to come?


Early 2010 
Dear Friends and Family,

I like to say that if it wasn’t for the last minute, I wouldn’t get anything done at all. Clearly I have gone WAY past the last minute, so I am going to pretend that this is merely an exercise in me executing a New Year’s resolution of no longer being late all the time and consider myself merely very early for the next Christmas season.

I would also like to express appreciation for those that acknowledged my lack of Christmas letter last year. I received many phone calls and emails regarding such…it’s nice to be missed! I highly doubt at this point in time that this letter will do justice to my stellar letter-writing reputation, but I’m bound and determined to give it a whirl!

So much to say about the last year or so, but I will start with a brief update of the kids. Garrett is 13 and I have to say that he is just wonderful. He has his teenage moments, but is incredibly helpful and funny and understanding and bright. He is doing well in school and is anxiously awaiting high school next year. He actually has taken on a lot of responsibility around the house this last year and it is so appreciated yet unfortunately often goes unacknowledged in the chaos. I so appreciate his helping around the house, helping with his brothers, and just generally being a good, responsible kid.

Cole is 12 and is doing well as well. He has taken a grave interest in his darn Nintendo DSI and in often found absorbed in such. He is such a tender-hearted boy and so full of compassion. He was able to be a TA at school this year and chose the on-campus child care they have available for the teachers. He adores young kids and is so good with them. Young children are drawn to Cole and he flourishes with the responsibility of caring for them. He loves to build things and figure out how things work…just wish I was more mechanically inclined to help with that. He’s doing well in school and is generally just a mellow, happy kid.

Blake just turned 10 in January and is a real character. He is witty and sarcastic…I have NO idea where he got that from! He does well in school and is involved in many activities. He currently has an amazing desire to learn to play the piano and is starting his eagerly anticipated lessons next week. He picks it up quickly and very much wants to be good at that. He is rarely at home, but rather around the neighborhood with other kids or they are all at our house. The front door is constantly revolving! All in all, he is a charismatic and fun kid that is often making me laugh…when he’s not driving me crazy of course!

Ethan is 7 and is still as little as ever. He proudly boasts his 41 pounds and has been surpassed in weight and height by his younger brother. Fortunately, he embraces his size and often uses it to his advantage, whether it be crawling through dog doors to open a locked house for a friend or successfully hiding in a cabinet in which no one else would possibly fit. He has a passion for Bakugan and I have those ridiculously expensive colored balls all over the house! He still has wonderful red/auburn hair and the cutest smile, especially with the two front teeth missing. He’s also doing well in school and is a very sweet little boy.

And then there is Wade. Sigh…what to say about Wade? Wade is energetic and boisterous and bright and LOUD and quick and often obnoxious. And yet none of that matters when he crawls on my lap and tells me I’m beautiful and he loves me and wraps his arms around me while he kisses me on the cheek. He started kindergarten this year even though his birthday was after the cut-off and seems to be doing well and is succeeding. He likes being at the same school as his brothers (and yes…all 5 are at the SAME school. I keep telling them I deserve some type of award or something.) and has made a lot of new friends. He and Ethan are both currently in basketball and he enjoys being able to now participate in group sports like he’s watched his brothers do his whole life.

And now for me. I have had so many prayers, phone calls, emails, and kind words this last year and am so grateful for everyone that has been here for me. For those of you that don’t know, although I can hardly imagine who that could possibly be considering I have prided myself in finally being very vocal about what my life has entailed the past 15 years or so, Jesse and I divorced. It hasn’t been pretty and most likely won’t be for a while. The divorce was finally final the middle of December although we separated December of 2008. If you are interested in details, I will most likely begin being a little more open on my blog (assuming I actually post ) www.theabernathyclan.blogspot.com, or you can always wait for the book I will inevitably write.
Meanwhile, the kids and I have moved into a house back in town in Surprise, closer to their school and friends. We are adjusting fairly well and seem to slowly but surely be figuring out how we are to do this new thing we’ve been thrust into. I started nursing school in October and I’m loving every minute of it. I was fortunate enough to be awarded a scholarship that pays my tuition and books and guarantees me a 3 year position at a Banner hospital in the valley at graduation. It is an accelerated RN program and I am in class many hours a week, but will graduate March 2011. I also coached diving this past fall after a few years off and enjoyed it so much! It was good for me to get a little break, wait for the kids to be a little older, and then be able to be back on deck. I’ve also reconnected with quite a few friends I haven’t seen in a while and done things I have rarely been able to do. I went to Seattle this past year (and got my first tattoo!), I went to LA and to Vegas…the kids and I went to my parents second house in New Mexico for the first time and we went to play in the snow…TWICE! We had a great, stress-free Christmas and enjoyed our time off at break going to the zoo, sleeping in, and playing rousing episodes of Rockband. I often say…we are truly “ROCKSTARS”…and we are rocking our world.
That is the sum-up…short and sweet. Hope to hear from those of you I haven’t lately and hear more from those of you I have reconnected with. Thank you all for your support and love. Hope 2010 is kind to you!

Love,
Melynda, Garrett, Cole, Blake, Ethan and Wade

Warriorcrew6@gmail.com
www.thewarriorcrew.blogspot.com

Please email if you'd like our new address.