Ode to a boob job...

So, how does this book apply to title and picture below? Bear with me...I will get you there! So here's the deal...for those of you who don't know, I had my boobs "enhanced". For those of you who do know, just a reminder to get you where I'm going with this. And to those of you who have issues with it, get over it :-) They are sooo just part of the journey!

Over a year ago, I opted to have a little "repair"...boobs and tummy. I have to say, it was quite a difficult decision for many reasons. The primary reason was that I was honestly concerned with what that choice would say about me and where my priorities are and that it would label me as excessively vain. I was worried about what people would think and that, somehow, that decision of MINE would bother or be disagreeable to my friends and/or acquaintances. It turns out, I had a myriad of responses! I will say, the majority of women that I know either already had made the leap themselves or are hoping to one day and were merely curious about recovery, size, etc. Then there were the few that had issues...that thought/think I was being vain and the ONLY reason anyone would ever choose to make this decision would be to flaunt them at the gym in a tank top! The truth of the matter is, they aren't really about that, but yet they were the beginning of me finding me again...about me finding myself in the midst of a crazy life.

So, I'm a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a cousin, a clothes-washer, floor-mopper, food-maker, kitchen-cleaner, toilet-scrubber, carpool-driver, furniture-duster, discipline-giver, etc. I have so many things and actions that seem to define my life, but I discovered that none of them define ME...they define what I do for everyone else. Now, not to knock any of my life! I love my life! I chose it and I wouldn't choose to change it and I am fully aware that the above titles come with this territory! The difference is, I knew that I was losing ME in the middle of it all and I, honestly, hadn't realized it before now. So I got the surgery...and I tried to hide it...and I tried to justify it...and I was embarrassed by it for a while. But here's the thing, by my choosing to do that for ME, I made a huge step towards finding ME! I learned that what everyone else thinks doesn't matter. And I learned that repairing what carrying, birthing, nursing, and tending to 5 children did to my body was not vain, but essentially therapeutic! There is something to be said about lying down and not having your stomach lying next to you! I felt great and slowly gained confidence in myself that I think sometimes fades when spending so much time tending to daily life.

Jump ahead a bit...I decided to go back to school. Hence the book picture! I have been accepted into nursing school and am on the waiting list to begin. In the meantime, I am taking Microbiology to apply for a nursing scholarship in December. WOW! This class has been sooooo good for me! Using my mind and gaining knowledge and being with people with similar interests and goals and people who can carry on an adult conversation has been awesome! I cannot even begin to explain how much I have enjoyed this class! I had forgotten how much I enjoy learning and it is so different now compared to when I was 18 in that this is solely MY choice! I am finding ME! I am doing something for ME! And you know what? My family has had to sacrifice to make this possible and I love everyone of them for that. It has definitely been an adjustment, but in the long run it benefits every member of my family.

So, that's the leap. I got boobs and now I am learning and am finding things that are for ME and good for ME. I am strong and able...I am productive and smart...I am still a good mom and wife...and it's okay if they have to dig underwear for themselves out of the pile on the dryer--at least they are clean! And, despite it all, it IS fantastic to wear a tank top at the gym!

Boys don't shoe shop!

I fear this blog may turn into all the reasons why a girls would have been so much fun for me! I remember when I found out that Ethan was going to be a boy, I went into a bit of a funk...since I thought he was going the be the last and I was going to have all boys (by the time I was pregnant with Wade, I had completely given up hope!). Anyway, I was whining to Jesse about how he couldn't possibly understand since he would always have someone around who would want to wrestle and be dirty and feed rodents to reptiles with him but I would never have anyone who would want to go shoe shopping with me. I was right...


This is how ridiculous they are. Jesse and I were out driving to look at some land when Jesse spotted this snake in the road. He yelled for me to stop the car and turn around (and I have asked myself a hundred times since why I listened!). The snake angrily coiled and started striking at Jesse when he got out of the car so, the next OBVIOUS act would be to catch it, right?! He told me to watch the snake while he found a stick. I in turn looked at him in disgust and said...really...not gonna happen. So I got assigned stick hunting duty instead.

Jesse caught the snake, curled it around his arm, and said let's go. Until that point, I had not fully realized that is was going to travel with us not only to still go look at the land, but back home. Does everyone agree that I am a fairly awesome wife and mother at this point?

We got the snake home and turn-taking to hold said angry snake ensued. I was pretty sure the fun was going to end here. I was mistaken. The snake was then put on the ground, and bothered to get all angry again so Garrett and Cole could each take a turn learning how to catch an angry snake. No joke! I wouldn't make this up! This, apparently, is fun to the male population!


Here's how the next conversation went:

Me: (slightly panicked and worried-like) Oh My Gosh! They are going to get bit! What happens if they get bit?!

Jesse: (in a semi-disgusted tone) Well, then I guess they will have one hole on the top of their hand...and one on the bottom.

Sigh...I'm going to look for shoes.

Friends...

"A real friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." Walter Winchell.

So...friends. Although my meager entries have truly been reflected on my crazy family and, more specifically my kids, the blog really is about me. If I ever get even remotely regular at this blogging thing, it will be about the events that surround me, and, by default, my perspective and feelings towards any event as they are my words doing the telling. It's reflecting my world as it revolves around this amazing life I lead. Now, don't get me wrong! By 'amazing' I don't always mean 'good', although there is TONS of 'good'! But amazing can have some fairly negative elements in the right situation (reference blender entry below!) Lately, my amazing has evoked quite a bit of introspection, inspection, and reflection which have enlightened me on my feelings on friends. So, as this is about me, I wanted to write about these thoughts in a way that I hope I will be able to reflect should the gumption arise.

Over my life, friends have appeared, disappeared and evolved. I have rarely been able to accurately predict any outcome, and have yet to be disappointed. I now also watch my kids with their friends and have watched how their friendships with various kids develop...or stagnate. Friends come in so many different packages and it seems they often also have a variety of functions. I am pretty sure everyone knows what I mean about that. I mean, I feel like for so long I thought that a true friendship had it's strength based on similarities. I found, instead, that the deepest friendships have immense differences! Those differences are tempered with respect and are non-judgmental. We can talk about two different sides of the same coin, question, explain, listen, and grow from each other. I am so grateful for the differences of the people around me and even more-so for their loving me despite our differences. You guys are simply divine!

With the crazy life we have had the last couple of years and the way my family is growing and changing, I have been able to gain real appreciation for my true friends. Surprisingly, to me anyways, some of my friends that have been the most supportive, inspirational, comforting, and reliable were not always the ones I predicted. They aren't necessarily the ones nearby or the ones I am able to talk to often...they may be ones I haven't talked to in months! Yet they have always been there and would drop anything to help me or be there for me if I ask. I have to express gratitude to all my friends and I am so grateful for not only what I learned from them, but what I was able to take from those friendships as well. I am fortunate enough to know some awesome women...women that have been such an example to me in SO MANY different ways. Friendship is definitely a journey of sorts...and the journey has been fantastic!

And to take me full circle to the quote above, it is so true. The friends that have been true friends to me have stayed with me, let me cry, let me laugh, listened to my garbage, rejoiced with me in my good times, and have always 'walked in' and stayed with me when the rest walked out. And, honestly, not all friends we have are meant to walk in when the rest walk out...some are there the rest of the time and are gratefully appreciated. And yet, there are the ones that stick by you! You can't knock a true friend!

And he shall be called "Stumpy"...

Okay. First, take a deep breath and prepare yourself to take your time and indulge in the post that will have to hold you for what will probably be another couple months if the past truly is an indicator of the future. Next, I would like to begin by saying that our family does occasionally function normally with little to no permanent damage. Unfortunately, I seem to only focus on the negative and love, apparently, to showcase the downside of life! With that said, I will preface the following story by stating that he is fine!
So, here's the story. Wade put his hand in a hand-held blender and turned it on. Yikes! I know! To top off the story, I wasn't even home...Garrett was babysitting. Quality parenting folks! I have to say, Garrett did a fantastic job of taking care of him and got him to the neighbor's pronto, who then met me at the fire station at the end of our road with Wade. Long story made really short, we got to the hospital, were admitted, and Wade had surgery by the hand surgeon the next day to fix some royally messed-up tendon in one finger. All fingers are still attached and should have normal function at some point.

So, is some comprehension occurring? My life is NOT NORMAL! The chaos is to the point of ridiculous! Sadly, I have taken to calling him "stumpy". I think it's funny. Even funnier, Wade will now ask me to hold his stump instead of calling it his hand...isn't that priceless?! And my somewhat warped sense of humor is a little bit enjoying the look on the snow birds' faces when they ask him what happened and he very politely and bluntly tells them he put it in a blender. You can't buy stories like this!

In addition, I have continued to get some not-nice comments about my horrible lack of blogging. The suggestion that I could print my blog at the end of every year and have a yearly momento makes me laugh a little...that would obviously be one very short book! I do enjoy putting the stories on screen...when I get to it, it just seems so hard to get to it! And now that I look back at my meager selection of posts, I notice a theme. I apparently only post during tragedy and stress. I am pretty sure, somehow, I am going to get a knock on the door from some random agency concerned for the welfare of my children.

Okay. So at least I gave a disclaimer in my first post...you all have to admit I fairly warned everyone that it was entirely possible that I would completely stink at this. Unfortunately, I was right. I have received emails, gotten phone calls and have been approached in person regarding my absolute lack of blog maintenance. I apologize...honestly...I do. I want to be good at this and yet the absolute chaos and ridiculousness of my life somehow prevents it. I actually had one friend tell me that I am the worst blogger ever (you know who you are!) and sadly, she is right. She said that I have these five wonderful boys and I should blog to not only remember myself the memories I will ultimately forget, but to let others know as well. My answer--I don't blog BECAUSE I have five wonderful boys! If any of you could spend just one day...oh the realizations that would come upon you! Here is an example:

"Why?" you may ask. "Why is there a football in the toilet?" Exactly my point. Why? Yet what most of you may not understand is that there is no point to asking why. You will never get a real answer. Your curiosity as to why a football is in the toilet will never be fulfilled. I found this one evening as everyone was sleeping and I went in to clean the boys' bathroom. When I lifted the lid, this is what I found. I felt that this would just give a little example to what I see and do all the time. My life is basically filled with random footballs in toilets, if I may, and I have learned to not question, but rather remove said footballs, sanitize them as fully as possible and move on.

Now, I do feel that I deserve some credit for getting three posts on this blog so far. Regardless of the fact that it has taken 9 months to complete said posts, the spirit is willing...you know the rest! I have received some criticism as to the fact that the last pictures posted were that of my deformed son, so here is a recent picture to assure you all that the malformity has resolved and he again looks normal...as normal as possible at least!
I have so much more to say, so much has happened that I would love to tell, but I fear the shock of my actually posting may be too much for most of you to handle as it is so I will leave a few tidbits for future posts. Sadly, now that I have sat down and done a little, I am almost inspired to sit and do the rest now...almost!

i love the new year!

New Years 2003-ER in Yuma with Ethan having an asthma attack
New Years 2005-Stomach flu in the dunes (no one will eat spaghetti when we camp to this day.)
New Years 2006-Chicken Pox Garrett and Wade.
New Years 2008-Strep Throat everyone...one by one...all vacation long.

I have decided that this is nature's way of making sure we don't get too comfortable with where we're at and remind us not to be superstitious! I am reminded that no what the new year inevitably brings, it can't be worse that the day the year started. I love being kept humble :-)

Christmas has come and gone and with it I hope to have gained a renewed determination to actually maintain and use this blog. Thank you so much the few of you that have visited already. I have to say I love hearing from you and appreciated the comments. I also loved hearing from everyone with their Christmas letters and hearing what everyone is up to.

School starts again tomorrow. We haven't even done anything fun with the sickness and all. I have decided that one day in the next couple of weeks I am going to pull them all out of school and we are going to play hooky and do something fun-the zoo, science center, whatever. I am going to miss have them all around and I am going to miss the absolute lack of schedule. Nothing makes me happier than not having to be somewhere at a particular time.

I will post a couple pictures of the ridiculous bump that was mentioned in my letter-it deserves the public recognition since he still has black eyes from it.

Will write again soon!